The Ashes: Journalists and Mark Ramprakash

For all those people who are tired of the press insisting that Steve Harmison, Ian Bell or whoever be recalled to the England team, get this:

All of the mainstream press are currently running “who will replace KP” type articles.  At least three of them have included the name Mark Ramprakash (here, here and here*).

Aside from the fact that we all know it will be Ian Bell, thus rendering the excercise utterly pointless (never let it be said that the press will let pointlessness get in the way of a good space filler) we should consider that Ramprakash hasn’t played for England since 2002.

Of the current squad, only Andrew Flintoff has played Test cricket alongside him.  It was this knowledge that caused Freddie to announce his retirement, rather than his dodgy knee.

Yet they still continue to mention his name at regular intervals when discussing England selection.  This highlights the following:

• Many cricket journalists switched their brains into standby mode in 2003.  This has prevented the forming of original thoughts.
• Young English cricketers are mostly rubbish.  Including Ravi Bopara, clearly.  I mean, he has had four innings at Australia and they aren’t scared of him yet.  Rubbish.
• Any half-decent Australian wishes that England’s selection committee were made up of Mike Selvey and journalists who never played 1st class cricket.  They would fancy their chances against a batting lineup featuring a cardboard likeness of WG Grace and Geoff Boycott’s mother.
• Everyone has forgotten that Ramps’ twinkling footwork has been used more often when facing Arleen Phillips than Test quality bowling.

None of this is to say that Ramps does not remain a fine cricketer.  He is at least marginally better at batting than I am.  But he is also closer to receiving his bus pass than some of the journalists who think England should still pick him.  Or perhaps they still think it’s 2003?

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